I mountain biked 968 Miles in 7 days. 138 miles a day. This is certainly nothing to be ashamed of, yet, after watching Alan and Dominik finish their ride today after riding with them on and off for days, I cannot help continue feeling depressed about my Tour Divide performance.
For those who don't know the backstory, I thought I tore my Achilles' Tendon riding out of Lima, MT. My right foot became so inflamed throughout the morning that by the afternoon I couldn't fit my foot in my shoes. My thrilling extraction via hitchhiking took almost all day as I was stuck in the middle of a low-traffic dirt farm-road on the Montana side of Red Rock Pass. After I finally got to a real town, the doctor assessed it as a only a really bad sprain. Apparently when you twist your ankle hiking through deep snows mile after mile, you probably shouldn't hop on the bike for a huge day doing 4 major climbs. Although I don't need surgery, I was told I'd have to take a month off the bike...
The problem with not finishing a third time is a find myself longing to go back. This, in my opinion, is a real problem. There are so manythings I still want to do, can I really dedicate another year to divide racing? In reality, if present US-section record holder John Nobile is any sort of gauge, I still have 21 years left to complete a crazy-fast ride, so I suppose I have good reason to rush back, however the trail calls.
Part of the problem that I'm starting to encounter is the "what if" game. Going back and having something potential go wrong so I don't finish again would be even more crushing. The 8 months of borderline obsessive training that I put into this year's race was not always fun. Getting up at 6:15 am to ride 35 minutes through packed San Francisco city streets in a cold fog and light rain just to get to some "decent" riding wore thin after a while. Maybe this is part of the challenge. However, right now it does not sound super-appealing to do all over again. In truth, I wish I could go back to Banff in Mid August and give it another go while I'm still strong and finally put this baby to rest. But that isn't happening.
All that said, I need a year off. So, if I show up to Banff next year, someone slap me before the start.
